so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
