i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
