Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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