I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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