Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
