She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
