i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize