I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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