i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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