Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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