I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
