What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
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yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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