Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
