singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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