dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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