She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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