I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
