I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
