your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
