My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
