Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
