eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
