Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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