So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
