Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize