I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
