ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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