when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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