You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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