i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
