Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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