There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
