I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
literally had 100 drinks last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize