And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
