bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
