Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
