How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
