I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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