So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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