I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
