On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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