It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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