I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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