East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
