My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
