I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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