hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
