So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How drunk are you?
Completed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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