So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
