We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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