She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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