On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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