I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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