It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
