The best revenge is premature balding
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
