there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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