East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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