Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
