It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
