Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
