he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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