i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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