Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
