I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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