god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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